I was surprised by my own thoughts words and actions at the sentencing of my son’s murderer. Despite the admonishment of the Prosecuting Attorney, not to speak to the defendant, I turned to the defendant and told him that I forgive him and then to my surprise I told him…… “I don’t know why, but I love you, I really do!” Those thoughts and words lifted a burden from me that unchecked, could have gone on to destroy my life from that point forward, as it has for so many. Within moments of uttering those words I felt a joy and an exhileration that surprised me to my very core. Few people could understand how I did what I did. Some people thought that I was stupid and that my actions were absurd. Others were awe struck and amazed at the love I was able to feel for the murderer of my son, my sweet Joshua Ben Kagel.
There Are Two Sides to Every Issue
Being human means that in the course of our lifetimes we will experience a myriad of beautiful and tantalizing moments, like experiencing the aromas of bread baking, coffee brewing, bacon simmering in a pan, or experiences like sitting and talking with friends over dinner, appreciating the love that you and your spouse have for each other while reveling in thankfulness, watching a Hallmark movie, coming to your own surprise birthday party, or perhaps one of my favorites, receiving a call from one of your grown children who says that they would just like to spend some time with you. Ah, but that same human experience will also include the hurts, humiliations, tragedies, betrayals, misunderstandings and sorrows that life brings. It’s very easy to handle the beautiful times. But, handling the hard times can take its toll on us…………………..unless there is another way!
But I Have a Right to Be Angry! Do you know what happened to me!!………
- “I heard that three people were talking about me at work today…..and it wasn’t flattering.”
- “A teenager was texting while driving and killed my………
- “I’m getting laid off next month.”
- “I just found out for sure that my husband is cheating on me.”
- “Last Saturday my son was murdered by a bunch of thugs for the lousy $10 he had in his wallet.”
Yes we have the right to be angry and hold a grudge. And…..we most definitely will be justified in our anger. But……..we also have another right!
We Also Have the Right To Forgive and Be Happy
Yes we have the right to be angry, but we also have the right to be happy. And just like science “no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time. Well then, it stands to reason that no two thoughts can occupy the same space at the same time. So, we can either be happy, or crappy…..that our choice!. “But wait a flippin minute……didn’t you just hear what happened to me. Just how am I supposed to be happy when……….. and what do you mean I have a choice.
O.K., here’s the deal, no one is really suggesting that you should be exhileratingly happy in the face of a crisis, or a tragedy, but are you open to the possibility that a degree of enlightenment might allow you to be at peace in moments that normally elicit anger, resentment and revenge. I hope you make the choice to not argue for your limitations because then, you will own them……. or more precisely, they will own you. And we as human spirits are limitless in our possibilities.
Change Our Philosophy/Change Our Life
I could go on and on giving you many left brain, logical explanations for making the right choices. But that’s for a future blog. Suffice it for now to say~ that it obviously is in our best interest as a member of the human species to evolve mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I attribute my actions in the court room that day to be at least in part to the teachings of many wonderful spiritual teachers I have either known or experienced through a continual reading of spiritual, and or self development books (to also be discussed in a later blog). These many authors and thoughtful writings, have helped to elevate my consciousness, and my awareness, elevating me to a place of Spiritual upliftment and guidance. So in that moment in court, I was tuned in to spirit, the holy spirit, God, Source Energy, however you reference that higher place of truth. I can truly say that in the court room that day, I was able to get out of my own way, just enough to listen to the whisperings of Spirit…..that still small voice that speaks to all of us! I allowed it to speak through me. At that moment in time, my head was in alignment with my heart, my soul and my creator.
Until next time…May the Wisdom of the Force Be With You. In Love, Peace and Laughter, Rob